Oh the balancing act of two worlds…
On February 11th, my old world collided with my new world. My new world was meeting my amazing son. My old world was one of selfishness: self-goals, self-oriented, self-striving. It was focused on self-goals of becoming the strongest, fastest triathlete I could be. Learning to push myself past discomfort and grow mentally in order to achieve athletic goals. Self-oriented because, Michael and I were able to go and do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. Train, go on dates (often training and dates were blended like going on coffee rides – one of my favorites!!), watch movies or just spend time together on the couch in peace and quiet. Self-striving as I was focusing on growing my business as a Registered Dietitian working with amazing athletes. Recently, I finalized my business logo (soon to be launched), had a steady stream of clients and had been meeting with a business coach, Jen Rulon, to learn how to better myself as a business entrepreneur. Things in the area of athletics, relationships and business were moving in a fantastic direction all focused on myself.
When Everitt came into our lives, my whole self-focused world came to a halt. Goals became very different. He has positively changed my life in ways I never knew were possible (and it is just the beginning I am sure). He has taught me that there are areas of myself I do not like and am now striving to change to be a better mother. I have been challenged in the areas of patience and selflessness. Some challenges, I have failed while other times I have succeeded.
In this new venture, I am determined to figure out how to make my two worlds blend into beautiful harmony. Blending my two worlds of being self-focus (wife, triathlete and entrepreneur) and being a mom is a work in progress. I have come to accept that training freedom will be different. It is reality that I may not be able to train as much as I used to, but I am determined to make my training sessions count. Knowing that I have less freedom means that each opportunity is a chance to push hard to become the triathlete I want to become. Someday, I want Everitt to look at me and say “Wow, my mom is amazing. She fights for what is important to her and balances priorities in a way I never felt neglected.” I want him to see me as the mom who inspired him to be the amazing man he is sure to become. Each moment I have to spend with Michael in peace and quiet, doing what we want is also a time of blessing. Never neglecting our marriage or putting too much on Michael as he is so supportive of all my endeavors. As for the days I get to work and help other athletes reach their goals, those are also moments I appreciate as well. I don’t want to lose myself in this journey. Rather, I think I am on a journey of change and greatness. How am I going to blend these two worlds, I have no idea as I have just began working on this masterpiece. As I walk through what seems to be a conflicting journey, I know many women have gone through this same walk with success. The days, weeks, years to come will be sure to tell. No matter what, I know it is my goal to become a better wife, mom and triathlete then who I was before Everitt’s arrival. Let the balancing of this new adventure begin. Only God knows how to make it happen. Pray I can keep my heart open to what He has in store for our family.